How to Write Wedding Vows


How to write your own vows


You might be thinking, "How can it be so overwhelming to write your own wedding vows?" One of the biggest phobias is public speaking. So here are some tips and info that I borrowed from Tanya at The Vow Whisperer when she guest spoke on the Betches Brides podcast where she talks about how to write your own vows. This blog will help you put your thoughts together and get started. By the end of this you will feel confident knowing you completed your wedding vows and you knocked it outa the park!

Where do I start?


You’re gonna wanna start by jotting down some core memories, quotes, joys, and experiences you’ve had together. Here are some questions to get the ideas rolling:

  • What was the defining moment?
  • When did you know for sure?
  • How did you feel when you proposed/when you got proposed to?
  • What are some of the hurdles you’ve gone through?

Relationships are not perfect, we share the truth. It’s okay to mention hurdles, you’ve come out so much stronger. You can do this work together and then take notes separately.



TIP: Practice

  1. Write out your own wedding vows on index cards to help you remember everything.
  2. Do NOT try to memorize them.
  3. Read it out loud so you can hear yourself. Then you’ll get to a point where you’re solid.
  4. You can even do a dress rehearsal, all dressed, and makeup done.
  5. Practice in the mirror.
  6. Breath and meditate a little bit.

Make edits, suggestions, and balance the right sense of humor and seriousness. Stick to the vibe you want. Do you want everyone to cry or laugh? Are you really serious or goofy? The sweet spot to the length of your vows should be 5-6 minutes long.


1. Start

  1. How did you meet?
  2. What is it that you love so much about each other?
  3. What qualities do you love about this person?
  4. How have they made you a better person?

You spend so much time and money and put so much work into the wedding, flowers, and planning everything, but the reason you’re there is to get married. This is the most important part. The ceremony is the most important part!


2. Middle

  1. Talk about your experiences together
  2. What does the future look like?
  3. How do you wake up in the morning?
  4. You look at them from across the bed and think what?

3. End

  1. End with your promises
  2. What is it you want to give them for the rest of your life?

When we get to promises, you are not just promising for wedding day performance, you are promising for the rest of your lives!

You're gonna wanna spend weeks on this!

Unplug yourself and spend time with your questions. Don’t come back overnight and say, “Okay I’m done”. DEFINITELY don’t try and get this started the night before your wedding day. We’ve worked SEVERAL weddings where the couple just started writing their vows the DAY OF! Don’t be that guy! Come prepared and confident so your spouse can truly feel the effort you put into putting your vows together.

Wedding Ceremony Example

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Thank you so much to Tanya from The Vow Whisperer for sharing all these wonderful nuggets on how to write your own wedding vows! Have any thoughts or questions? Comment below! Save this in your notes so you can refer back to it later or send it to your pals getting married!

Wanna listen to the podcast? Click here: “Writing Your Vows”

blog - "How to write a wedding speech or toast"


This worksheet includes all the ideas and questions listed above, as well as space to write out your vows!

Download now


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Now you know how to write your own wedding vows! If you're looking to book your elopement or micro wedding, hit that inquire button below! When you do it the right way and plan your wedding day for YOU, it's so much more fun! Your day, whether big or small, should be all about you! If you agree, click that inquire button and let's start planning your day!

Happy wedding planning!